Signs and notices
- "How To Repair Your VCR." - The title of a how-to video tape.

- "Great New Taste!" and "Same Great Taste!" - On opposite sides of a drink cooler in a grocery store.

- "Ears pierced while you wait." - A sign in a shop.

- "Free Parking ($1.50 per day)" - A sign at a parking lot in Ocean City, Maryland.

- "If you can’t read or write, phone this number."

- "Lunch and Learn Seminar: ’Who’s controlling your life?’ (get your manager’s permission before attending)" -- The contents of a flyer for corporate seminar.

- "We are sorry, but these toilets are out of order. Please use floor." -- A sign on a shopping center’s restroom door, indicating that the restroom was closed. The sign was intended to give directions to the nearest open restroom, but the staff had forgotten to fill in the blank.

- "Shoe Rental: Adults: $2.00. Seniors and Children: $2.00." -- A sign in a bowling alley in Katy, TX.

- "Do not open this door when locked." -- A sign on a gym door.

- "Speed Limit 5 Miles per hour" / "No vehicles beyond this point" -- Two signs on the same sign post at a camp site.

- "A reminder to all lady Lancers that you are not to wear t-shirt tank tops on campus. If you do so, you will be asked to remove them." -- An announcement that appeared in a Hilltop High School (Home of the Lancers) bulletin.