Positive Psychology

Positive Psychology by Tal Ben-Shahar

On 2 Feb 2013, we had a 10th Anniversary for our MSc GIS RS group at Kudos, City Mall with my most buddies and friends, Su, Pris and Wong Tai-Ko. Of course, as usual, Tai-Ko would motivate us with some deep philosophical thoughts and ideas about life and living.

He emailed out a Chinese essay to me about making everyday as special day and then a link to a You Tube Video and I spent the entire weekend listening to it. Frustrated by the bad network, I decided to download the video for repeated listening and learning.

Here are my understanding on Positive Psychology after listening to him few times :-

1. Permission to be human - As human, we cannot experience the constant high in life. Only two groups of people do not have emotions - psychopath or dead. We must allow ourselves to experience all emotions of life.We pay a very high for not granting permission to ourselves and others to be human. In life there is always Paradox and it is Not Passive Resignation but Positive Acceptance. This is the pillar of positive psychology
2. Dealing with Stress - We pay a very high price for our living ! The level of stress for college students have increased : 80% feeling overwhelmed and 45% of feeling depressed to the point of not functioning ! We have too much to do. Too much to do makes us feel overwhelmed and stressed. The average age for the onset of depression in the 1960's was 29 and now its 14. Step 1) Simplify - do less, rather than more ! Step 2)  Reduce multi-task ! When we do two favourite things at the same time Quantity affects Quality. Having emails / facebook on while working cause us to lose 10 IQ points! Loss of sleep for 36 hours is losing 10 IQ  Point, Smoking Marajuna loses 4 IQ point. Knowledge Worker should do 1 1/2 hour of focus time with no distraction.  Relationship between Money and Happiness is not clearly linked. Time Affluence Vs Material Affluence - we have time to appreciate the things and people in our life. The currency of Happiness - Time Affluence. We take time to love and to be loved. This is missing from our culture today ! Stress is not the problem but the lack of recovery from it is the problem. Ritualise the recovery of stress throughout the day through few levels - Micro level (Minutes, Hours 15 mins of lunch with a friend without phone), Mezzo level (Good Night Sleep is a good investment, take a day off in the week), Macro level (weeks and months - vacation). We need to engage with re-creation in order to create our life. 
3. The Mind-Body Connection - Overcoming depression by physical exercises, 30 minutes three days a week will make a lot of difference. Not exercising is like taking depressant and making us depressed and deprived. We are made to be active, the ancestors walked 8 miles a day ! We need an Exercise Revolution today ! Exercise makes more connections in the brain. The unsung hero of psychology ! Mindfulness Meditation - Deep Breathing, Prayer (One-Pointedness and Deep Breathing Belly Depth). Be in religious or simply deep breathing. Left-to-Right Prefrontal Cortex Ratio  - Active Left side Prefrontal Cortex will be happier persons. Take Three Deep Breaths for every opportunity throughout the day ! Learn how to breath correctly, it improves health !
4. Focusing on the Postive - Central Pillar of Positive Psychology. The gratitude and appreciate - to increase in value. When we appreciate the good in our life, the good appreciates ! List down 5 things that you are grateful for everyday ! Terminal patients with 3 to 6 months to life, they often said, "For the first time in my life, I feel that I am alive !" Appreciate the Ordinary and be aware of our breath and our life ! Cultivate the habit of Gratitude. Learning to count our blessings, gratitude letters and savouring all the positive experiences, the treasures of happiness.

These are ALL Common-Sensible Tips and we know all these things. Common sense is not that common when it comes to application. Make Common sense more common.

Here are the links :

http://www.talbenshahar.com/

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tal_Ben-Shahar