Spiritual Friendship
Proverbs 27:17
Rev Renny Khoo
8 Oct 2017
Proverbs 27:17
As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.
Spiritual friendships are sharpening friendships.
10% of men have intimate friendships/ close friends.
Even if men have close friends, they don't discuss like ladies would.
Sharpening one another or the wits of one another is liken in the Hebrew language as sharpening the face of your friends. It is a figure of speech of shaping and moulding a friend’s life through spiritual friendship. True friends sharpen one another.
Studies have shown that people who are connected will live longer and happier lives which encourages us to be to be part of a church Connect Group.
Before sin entered the world God made everything good but only one thing that He felt it is not good and that is “it is not good for men to be alone” and God decided to make for Adam a helper who can connect with him. We are created to have friends.
1. Authenticity: spiritual friendships is vulnerable Proverbs 27: 5-6
“Better is open rebuke than hidden love. Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses.”
i) Test of authenticity
“Open rebuke” is a direct and honest criticism of one another giving honest feedback of genuine concern with the intention to spur one on to greater heights. “Hidden love” however is pretentious and unexpressed, too afraid to admit that to reprove and correction is part of genuine love. By doing nothing, we have allowed negative things to enter into our lives.
- Are you honest with yourself?
- Are your thoughts and words in sync ?
Being vulnerable is being in a position of weakness and the risk of potentially being hurt. However, the degree we are able to be vulnerable will be the degree we are able to experience love and be loved. Thus spiritual friendship must be girded by love. James 5: 16 states that we are to confess our sins to one another and pray for one another so that you may be healed meant we are put in a position of vulnerability to allow a connection of sharing openly where evaluation of our character is done in love and uphold in the spirit of prayer. It takes courage to say “I promise I will not be offended. I give you permission to share what is the one thing you like to say to me”
2. Authority: Spiritual friendship is teachable
Proverbs 27.9 Perfume and incense bring joy to the heart, and the pleasantness of a friend springs from their heartfelt advice.
i) Test of authority
Advice and counsel are sweet as it is not what we want to hear but what is needed to be heard. It will be heartfelt as the advice would have come from a place of trust, love and care followed by wisdom and insights. We should then be very careful who we ask our advice from as they have the power to build and tear down. The ultimate authority shall come from the word of God as in 2 Tim 3: 16. Our submission is not to the one delivering the message but only to God all in the premise of care and love and not abused or misused.
ii) Test of teachability
It was shared that even God fearing people can act defensively and not know they are doing it. When it is pointed out, awareness comes, and will there be found a teachable spirit, willing to receive corrective statement given in the spirit of love. In age of instant gratification, sometimes inadequate time is given to process and provide feedback to form healthy friendship and relationship. A teachable heart requires the allowance of a place of eldership in our lives where one can speak into our lives.
Put in the effort to cultivate spiritual friendship
Put efforts into friendships.
Hebrews 13
The essence of spiritual friendship is that we love the same truth, embracing a common passion and adoration centred on God. Make friendship with God more important than the friendship with one another. Spiritual friendship requires effort and maintenance. It is a gift to be maintained and effort to grow it. To share feelings, tears, embrace, things, problem, decisions, timely advice etc. So we come together to sharpen each other all in order to be a better person for we are God’s masterpiece. John 15: 15 “I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. Jesus did not just share his friendship but also his shed his blood and body so that today we can rejoice that Jesus can be our truest friend as we sharpen one another through our spiritual friendship.
Test of authority:
Test of teachability
Why can't we go out and have coffee without an Agenda?
John 15:15
I have called you friends because I have with you everything.
Questions:
1. Read through the following: Prov 13:20; 17:16; 19:4; 19:7; 25:16-17; 27:5-6; 27:9-10: 27:14: 29:5.
What does Proverbs say about friends and friendship, in both the positive (what God desires) and the negative (what displeases God)?
2. Share your experience/thoughts on any one of the tests mentioned.
3. What are one or two things that you will do to be the kind of spiritual friend you want to be (that you are not now), and/or to have the kind of spiritual friends that you want to have (that you do not have now)?
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