Congratulations, you pass ...
Although born to a good Irish-Catholic family, Colm had always wanted to be Jewish. As a senior in college, he decided to take the plunge and go through the formal conversion process. He studied Judaism all semester. Finally, he felt he was ready to take the test and complete the conversion.
On the appointed day, he arrived at the Rabbi´s office, ready to begin.
The Rabbi said,
- "I´m sorry, but before I give you the test, I must
discuss my fee, It´s $500."
- "Holy Mother! $5,000!" exclaimed Colm , "That´s a lot of money. How about $50?"
- "Congratulations, you pass." said the Rabbi.
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Teacher about whales
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah". The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?" The little girl replied, "Then you ask him"
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah". The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?" The little girl replied, "Then you ask him"
Productive Salesmanship ...
The kids filed back into class Monday morning. They were very excited.
Their weekend assignment was to sell something, then give a talk on productive salesmanship.
Little Sally led off: "I sold Girl Scout cookies and I made $30," she said proudly. "My sales approach was to appeal to the customer’s civil spirit and I credit that approach for my obvious success."
"Very good," said the teacher.
Little Jenny was next: "I sold magazines," she said. "I made $45 and I explained to everyone that magazines would keep them up on current events."
"Very good, Jenny," said the teacher.
Eventually, it was Little Johnny’s turn. The teacher held her breath.
Little Johnny walked to the front of the classroom and dumped a box full of cash on the teacher’s desk. "$2,467.00" he said.
"$2,467!" cried the teacher, "What in the world were you selling?"
"Toothbrushes," said Little Johnny.
"Toothbrushes," echoed the teacher..."How could you possibly sell enough toothbrushes to make that much money?"
"I found the busiest corner in town," said Little Johnny. "I set up a Dip & Chip stand. I gave everybody who walked by a sample. They all said the same thing, ’Hey, this tastes like shit!’.
Then I would say, ’It IS shit. Wanna buy a toothbrush?’
The kids filed back into class Monday morning. They were very excited.
Their weekend assignment was to sell something, then give a talk on productive salesmanship.
Little Sally led off: "I sold Girl Scout cookies and I made $30," she said proudly. "My sales approach was to appeal to the customer’s civil spirit and I credit that approach for my obvious success."
"Very good," said the teacher.
Little Jenny was next: "I sold magazines," she said. "I made $45 and I explained to everyone that magazines would keep them up on current events."
"Very good, Jenny," said the teacher.
Eventually, it was Little Johnny’s turn. The teacher held her breath.
Little Johnny walked to the front of the classroom and dumped a box full of cash on the teacher’s desk. "$2,467.00" he said.
"$2,467!" cried the teacher, "What in the world were you selling?"
"Toothbrushes," said Little Johnny.
"Toothbrushes," echoed the teacher..."How could you possibly sell enough toothbrushes to make that much money?"
"I found the busiest corner in town," said Little Johnny. "I set up a Dip & Chip stand. I gave everybody who walked by a sample. They all said the same thing, ’Hey, this tastes like shit!’.
Then I would say, ’It IS shit. Wanna buy a toothbrush?’
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