Psalm 62:5
Don't be neutralized in defeat, be expectant of God's great love to come to you.
The Lord be gracious to you; he rises to show you compassion.
Isaiah 30:18
Faith is largely expectancy - expectancy set on fire by the Holy Spirit.
The Lord's compassion never fails, they are new every morning.
Lamentations 3:22-23
Cultivate closeness to God every morning like John Stott would say: 'Good morning Heavenly Father, good morning Lord Jesus, good morning Holy Spirit.'
In the morning, O Lord, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you.
Psalm 5:3
To you I pray, Yahweh, at daybreak you hear my voice; at daybreak, I lay my case before you and fix my eyes on you. - The New Jerusalem Bible.
Our being sensitive to God is no reason that He is attentive to us, but when we give ourselves to Him, we became increasingly conscious of His loving, constant watchful over us.
God has shown me great mercy in my recent encounters, I am truly thankful for that. In my darkest day thus far, I was able to pass it superbly, uneventfully, and somewhat peaceful. At my lowest point, I could not read the Bible, not devotional materials, to be exact, not any books that need thinking. I could only pass time with mindless tasks, something I enjoy doing but does not stress my brain, help me forget my pitiful state, and the outcome of the tasks gives me much sense of compliance. In other words, I was restless and I needed to pass time without sitting idle. I was a bit upset with myself and the circumstances I was in but there was no backing out option, I just had to psych my mind to remain steady and tolerate it.
But I cry to you for help, O Lord; in the morning my prayer comes before you. Psalm 88:13
Evening, morning and noon I cry out in distress, and he hears my voice. Psalm 55:17
It's like:-
When life brings you joy, embrace it
When life brings you sorrow, grieve along
When life brings you surprises, take it
When life brings you inconvenience, go along
When life brings you pain, endure it
When life brings you adventure, take it up
When life brings you bitterness, swallow it
When life brings you sunshine, take it all I'm
When life brings you rain, use your umbrella
When life brings you storm, call on Jesus to calm it
When life brings you unrest, ask God for rest
When life brings you a rainbow, enjoy it
So, whatever life present, you take it up, you may not like it but you can tolerate it and there is always a good reward awaiting you. No pain, no gain, right? So, Just Do it!
At the lowest point, I considered myself selfish, pitiful, and arrogant. I think of the opportunities I have missed for not sharing God's love to others, I missed the opportunity to be light and salt. I was pretty useless to God's kingdom. I was struggling inwardly, feeling sorry for myself. Yet, God was faithful and watchful over me.
When I think of Bible verse, I read out in my mind: 'The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.' Tears started to flow because I knew there is a verse further down about 'going through the valley of death', I didn't like that. So I stopped. Then I thought how about recite That Prayer? What's it called? That prayer Jesus taught? Blank.
Nurses came to talk to me about the final preparation before surgery, I was distracted for a while. I needed to walk to my stretcher bed waiting for me outside. I laid myself down, helping vulnerable and helpless. All the way to Surgery room was like in television scene. I was just following it through. All the way into Holding area and finally the surgery room, I felt some cold. Then I told them I need to urinate and that gave me some time to recall that prayer. Finally, figured out its The Lord's Prayer and I said, "Our Father who art in heaven, hallow be Thy name." Then, I said, "Lord, please take care of me and I trust you know what to do. Amen."
This was the divine exchange with God that I had on 9 May 2016 at 8:15 am in QEH2 Operation Theater, Level 2 or 3. The only thing I could say to God. Pretty unspectacular kind of faith. But God is faithful.
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