The judge says
The Judge says
- "This is a fairly obscure area of law"
What he really mean is:
- "I have no clue what you’re talking about"

"I think the court understands the gist of your argument":
"Shut up and sit down before you screw up the few good points you’re trying to make here"

"I’ll be taking this matter under advisement"
"I’m going to work some poor law clerk like a galley slave to research everything there is to find about this, and then decide it by a coin flip"

"I’ve read all the briefs. Unless you have something new to add, I think I’ve got a prety god handle on the
issues"
"I’ve got a tee time in 30 minutes, and if you force me to stay here and listen to you drone on, I’m going to make you pay for it"

"Counsel, I think you’ve adequately covered that issue"
"You’ve beat that dead horse into oblivion"

"I just want to make sure taht your client understands the rights he’s waiving here"
"I want to make sure that if some bleeding heart on the appeals court decides to let this scumbag out of
prison, I don’t get blamed for it"

"I believe this is a question better determined by the jury"
"Let’s see if you can get 12 people to buy this load of crap"

"Counsel, could you adress the juristiction issue first ?"
"Please show me how I can unload this turkey on some other judge"

"This reminds me of an amusing story from when I was in private practice"
"I’m going to bore you to tears with an old joke from the early ’50’s, and you’re going to feign amusement
because the fate of your case hangs in the balance"

"I haven’t made up my mind one way or the other on this issue"
"You’re gonna lose big time !"